According to studies, those with a more internal locus of control had significantly higher levels of self-esteem, emotional and mental well-being, adaptive coping as well as a more positive concept of self.
Locus of control, as defined by Julian Rotter, refers to the degree someone perceives their actions to have an influence on the outcome as opposed to those of external forces. This can be seen as a scale ranging from a more internal locus of control (your actions influence the outcome) to a more external locus of control (external forces influence the outcome).
When you perceive your actions and behaviours to determine outcomes, you are seen to have more of an internal locus of control. With an external locus of control, you perceive outcomes to be determined by external forces out of your control (ie as a result of fate / luck or chance) or dependent on other powerful people.
When considering the information above, it seems that we have a choice as to how we perceive our lives and outcomes of our actions and behaviours. Although this choice might not always be easy as it implies, we must take responsibility for our thoughts, actions, beliefs, and behaviours.
Accountability forms part of the very first habit (be proactive) in Stephen Covey’s book, 7 Habits of Highly Effective People with very good reason! Without the habit of being accountable, you inevitably revert to giving away your power over circumstances and essentially ending in victimhood – blame shifting, believing life is happening to you, everyone is out to get you, you feel stuck and unable to move forward in life, you struggle making changes (because you don’t believe you can influence the outcome), you surround yourself with others who also complain about life and blame others for where they are.
The good news is that you really do have the power to make a different choice and start building the life you are worthy of!
The first step towards a more internal locus of control and taking responsibility is having awareness of where you are giving away your power to external forces in order to possibly avoid taking accountability. Increase your awareness of moments where you feel out of control, blame others, feel stuck, feel like giving up, as well as other instances where victim mode is coming through. In those moments, ask yourself, how can I change my behaviour, response, thoughts, and beliefs to empower myself and take control of my inner world?
Life will always happen; you can choose how you respond.
More resources to explore:
https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2020.553240/full#h7
7 Habits of Highly Effective People – Stephen Covey