Our personal perceived reality reflects who we are being. Reflect on who you are being right now – does this person resonate with who you see yourself to be in the future? Does this person you are being now achieve the goals you set out for yourself? Are your decisions in alignment with the vision you have of yourself? Are you still triggered by people exhibiting toxic behaviour or are you focused on people who are full joy and in love with life? That which you see most often will give you an indication of your hard-wired mind.
Every person operates from behind their own frame. This frame consists of all our past memories, experiences, behaviours, actions, beliefs, thoughts and feelings. When we interact with the external world, we interact through this frame essentially basing all our current behaviours, beliefs, thoughts and feelings of the present and future on past events. Which leads to us recreating these past events, over and over and over again. This process mostly happens subconsciously unless you make a conscious effort to start rewiring this program.
By the age of 35 almost 95% of our thoughts, habits, feelings, and behaviours are hard wired functioning like a computer program. That means that 95% of what you do daily is pretty much on autopilot!
This statement implies that we are mostly not even aware of patterns and behaviours that we exercise. Including, our reactions to certain behaviours exhibited by people around us that might trigger something inside of ourselves.
When considering the concept of emotional intelligence, we are encouraged to step away from our own frame and attempt to understand the other person’s frame. As stated in 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey – the second habit is: seek first to understand, then to be understood.
How can we start the process of rewiring our programs? Awareness is step number one – using the 5% of your mind to create awareness of the 95%.
Rewiring is a conscious effort that takes mental rehearsal, exercise, patience, and a lot of compassion for yourself! You have been doing something in a set way for many years, it may take more than a few hours, days, and weeks to unlearn the old behaviour and replace it with the new one.
Resistance may also show up and attempt to derail your efforts. Read more about that here.
As Oprah once said, create a vision so clear that there is no doubt who you want to be. Then ensure that every decision you make in life is for that vision!